Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He shit in the fireplace
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
