You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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