I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
