remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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