When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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