Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize