God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
