The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
