yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
