Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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