Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
