The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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