to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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