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• (352): View more from Florida

  Billy Mays is dead too!

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I wish costco sold astroglide.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises

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