U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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