I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
