Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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