Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
