seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
