Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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