I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Help. Why am I so naked?
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