i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
