I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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