Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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