He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
