we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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