i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
