I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
