Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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