At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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