Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
