i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
