Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
