the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
