bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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