Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
