Banned from zoo.
Again?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
