I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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