Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
