I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
