No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
