I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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