He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
