I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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