glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
