he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
