well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
