That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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