stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
