It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
