if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
