you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
