So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
