What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
