remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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