thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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