i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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