Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Drunk is not a location!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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