i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ketchup is God's man juice
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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