pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
