is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Houston, we have a blender
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
