What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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