yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
