At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
