I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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