No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
